The Path Forward – Part 3

Charlene Hundred Day Diary Leave a Comment

Day 42 of 100, Hannover, Germany

I started writing this one almost 2 weeks ago, flashing by fields, towns, stations, borders, on our way from Denmark to Germany for the second time. Family calls, and the train journey soothes. Over the past week and a bit, I’ve been adding and adding to it, so it’s coming to you in parts.

Continued from yesterday.

It makes no sense does it?

The one thing I want to be doing, I’m not. Pushing it, and all the other kinds of shooting I want to be trying out, to the back of the shelf so I can operate a camera for money. There might be people out there that can can shoot weddings, fashion, street, play the banjo professionally, and sideline as an acrobat, but I am not one of them.

The past couple of years of scrambling around trying to win projects and be “engaged in the community” has sapped the hell out of me. I don’t know why I’m doing it anymore, particularly when the money is going to people who (let’s be honest here) do all that stuff 600% better than I do, because they have enthusiasm for it.

And my street work has been going quietly down the toilet as a result.

I look at the stuff I shoot every day (because I still do carry a camera with me all the time) and I think “I can do better than this.”

But I never do.

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