The sound of heartbreak

But how do you get away from the memories?
That’s what she’s left with.
The missing words to a prayer she can’t recite.
Trying to find all that’s lost.
Mark V. Krajnak, from JerseyStyle Photography’s Friday Noir

The day before I turned 33, I delivered a eulogy for my father, as his body awaited the cremating furnace.

Two days before, four women stood together as the heart that loved us all beat its last, and the disease that waged the rapid, terrible battle for his life, claimed its prize.


The hiss and click of a respirator pump, chime of a low-dose IV warning, ding of an elevator in a cavernous waiting room, the flat beep of a hospital monitor. A heavy teardrop, burning with life, staining the spotless fabric of a blanket meant to keep the worst of the sterile hospital cold at bay.

My mother’s farewell to the man who had spent well over thirty years by her side, whom she should have had many more years with: “Goodbye, my love.”

His three daughters bidding goodbye to the first man they had loved, in the time-honoured way of so many children to their fathers: “Bye Daddy. Love you.”

My father died a month ago today. Time flew, in its interminably slow fashion.

Wish you were here Daddy. We miss you so much.


  1. Touching and emotional words indeed.
    For me – those words speak volumes of a proud father whose loss is equal to those whom he has left behind and a Dad who can rest in peace knowing his time has been fruitful, his mission most definitely accomplished.

  2. Really sorry to hear this :( I agree with Martin – and can’t think of any words that say what I was thinking any better than his. Tis a measure of a good man that his family mourn his passing so.

  3. I have been grieving quietly with you, for you, for this past month, Charlene. My heart fills with sadness that you are and your family are going through this.

  4. Thank you for your love and well wishes everyone. I’m floored by how much support I’ve gotten over this time and am grateful to every single one of you.

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