Day 3 of 100, Singapore
Flemming and I attended the local Fujifilm launch of their three new cameras this evening. Still smarting from the whole debacle with the airline for Sunday’s flight, we’ve decided to add some vodka to that lemon of a situation, and make the best of our additional time here. I’ve genuinely enjoyed myself at these events, which is unusual: I am very awkward around lots of other people. Parties are a special kind of hell.
In her Journal Of A Solitude, poet May Sarton likened “every meeting with another human being [to] a collision” during periods of depression. Social situations and/or large crowds have a similar collisive effect on me. You know, when you don’t know if you should have dialed yourself up or down, said something differently, not said it at all, hung bells on your ears or over your head, then you retrospectively overanalyse each twitch that everyone around you made and decide MY GOD, THEY ALL HATE ME, I SUCK AND WILL NEVER INFLICT MYSELF ON ANYONE EVER AGAIN?
Bugger. Well, some of us live in the throes of this madness.
I am learning though, that it gets a little easier with practice. The sense of collision never goes away, but it doesn’t appear to be fatal. It’s easier at camera/photography events, because I carry a camera like everyone else, when there’s absolutely no reason to. And it’s completely acceptable to wander away and make pictures of a blank wall outside when it all gets too much. Photographers do stuff like that. Thank goodness.
And, lately I’ve made connections that remind me of the richness of this travelling life I’m lucky enough to live at the moment. Those are precious, the recognition of mutual oddballness from poles away.
“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.”
― C.S. Lewis